Athletic

I've never been athletic. My parents tried their best to encourage me to learn athletic things, they put me in sport programs: soccer, basketball, golf, tennis, volleyball. Unfortunately, game after game, while I was doing cartwheels on the field and picking dandelions for my mom, they realized I wasn't really learning any skills. So, I tried other sports: gymnastics, swimming, diving. Wow. Still nothing. I did try, and stuck with dance for a few years, but I was never competitive and probably not any good (my poor dad and the 7 girls' dance recitals year after year after year, he finally got smart and started bringing a laptop to such performances), it's just not the same as watching a good game. I'm just not good at kicking, catching, throwing, or hitting a ball.

Finally, the past few years of watching Ben run races, half-marathons, marathons, and the ultimate Wasatch Back Ragnar Relay, made me want to run. Running is a sport, right? While Ben and his friends started talking about this year's Ragnar relay, I caught the bug and helped form a girl's team to run as well! There have been a lot of big milestones that I was going to blog about, since this is my way of keeping a journal, but I just kept feeling that they aren't all that impressive. Friends who really run and have for some time don't write about it on their blog, neither do the ones who compete in Triathalons and Iron Man competitions. This has still been quite a journey for me.

At first, it was terrible. I started in the middle of January on my treadmill in the basement. Awful! I couldn't get faster than a 11 min. mile and only ran 3.5 miles! Really awful on a treadmill. By March the weather got warmer, but my allergies and asthma got terrible. I kept with it, but it was a real love-hate thing. I really hated it, but wanted to love it, so I kept running. I read almost every article in Runner's World magazine. Ben got sick of me quoting information like some kind of pro. But I really wanted to know more about running and how to start liking it. My favorite article was in April's magazine, called Couch Bound. I really wanted to get bitten!

When I ran, my lungs would burn and I coughed almost uncontrollably most of the run. But a few hours later, I'd find myself thinking about how I could for sure do it better. I did go to my pulmonologist and my immunologist and was given the go ahead my family totally didn't think I would get, so although the cough hasn't altogether stopped, my lung capacity has definitely increased!

I started tracking my firsts: the first time I could run up the 1 mile hill near my house without stopping. The first time I ran 4 miles without stopping to walk. The first time I ran 5 miles with a group and didn't have to ask them to slow down! My first run up Suncrest from Lehi in over 10 minute miles is not impressive to anyone but me. But that's the point afterall. This is a big deal for me!

Somehow, I got into a routine: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. In May, I logged my first 8 miler and honestly thought it was the most awful thing I could think of! We started too late in the morning, and I got really dehydrated, but still made it in under 10min miles. Next came the 10 miler, and my first experience with GU, and I was thrilled! I could have gone longer! The next week, I ran my first race: the Bridal Veil 10k. Never done a race before, and I was crazy nervous, but I beat my personal goal and finished the race at a 9:08 minute pace, unheard of for me! I know it is too early to tell, but I think I may actually feel athletic for the first time!

This is what I want to look like when I run, strong, peppy, upright...

This is what I feel like when I run, like a superhero...

This is what I want, to be athletic, running on the beach at sunset,

Running strong in front of the pack,
I'd even settle for a dancer-run, just as long as it looked like I was happy and loving what I was doing.

I have seen a total of two pictures of my mom running. They were both of her running her first marathon in St. George. She looked perfect! In super short shorts, a runners tank top, and a sun visor with her nicely curled and fluffed bangs on top she really did the eighties well! Her legs were tanned and toned, her arms were thin but strong, her face looked determined but pleasant! She is my hero!

I really had no idea what I looked like when I ran. Until one of the Tuesday morning Suncrest hill runs. The sun was just coming up over the mountains. I could see my breathe in front of me, and I suddenly saw my shadow on the hill next to me... I looked horrible! Like I was going to keel over and die. After all of the articles I have read about form, and stories of champions who fight to win the Boston marathon, you would think it would somehow translate into greatness for me. Strength, purpose, determination...thats what I thought would reflect in my shadow. Instead, I looked like a very stiff, bent over, undefined, pathetic excuse of a runner. I was heartbroken! Then, I saw my shadow on the way down...not a whole lot better...but I felt fantastic!

I am fine with being an ugly runner. I don't have to see myself. Too bad for my team on Friday and Saturday! I may feel athletic, but when I look it, that will be a real first for me!