Athletic

I've never been athletic. My parents tried their best to encourage me to learn athletic things, they put me in sport programs: soccer, basketball, golf, tennis, volleyball. Unfortunately, game after game, while I was doing cartwheels on the field and picking dandelions for my mom, they realized I wasn't really learning any skills. So, I tried other sports: gymnastics, swimming, diving. Wow. Still nothing. I did try, and stuck with dance for a few years, but I was never competitive and probably not any good (my poor dad and the 7 girls' dance recitals year after year after year, he finally got smart and started bringing a laptop to such performances), it's just not the same as watching a good game. I'm just not good at kicking, catching, throwing, or hitting a ball.

Finally, the past few years of watching Ben run races, half-marathons, marathons, and the ultimate Wasatch Back Ragnar Relay, made me want to run. Running is a sport, right? While Ben and his friends started talking about this year's Ragnar relay, I caught the bug and helped form a girl's team to run as well! There have been a lot of big milestones that I was going to blog about, since this is my way of keeping a journal, but I just kept feeling that they aren't all that impressive. Friends who really run and have for some time don't write about it on their blog, neither do the ones who compete in Triathalons and Iron Man competitions. This has still been quite a journey for me.

At first, it was terrible. I started in the middle of January on my treadmill in the basement. Awful! I couldn't get faster than a 11 min. mile and only ran 3.5 miles! Really awful on a treadmill. By March the weather got warmer, but my allergies and asthma got terrible. I kept with it, but it was a real love-hate thing. I really hated it, but wanted to love it, so I kept running. I read almost every article in Runner's World magazine. Ben got sick of me quoting information like some kind of pro. But I really wanted to know more about running and how to start liking it. My favorite article was in April's magazine, called Couch Bound. I really wanted to get bitten!

When I ran, my lungs would burn and I coughed almost uncontrollably most of the run. But a few hours later, I'd find myself thinking about how I could for sure do it better. I did go to my pulmonologist and my immunologist and was given the go ahead my family totally didn't think I would get, so although the cough hasn't altogether stopped, my lung capacity has definitely increased!

I started tracking my firsts: the first time I could run up the 1 mile hill near my house without stopping. The first time I ran 4 miles without stopping to walk. The first time I ran 5 miles with a group and didn't have to ask them to slow down! My first run up Suncrest from Lehi in over 10 minute miles is not impressive to anyone but me. But that's the point afterall. This is a big deal for me!

Somehow, I got into a routine: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. In May, I logged my first 8 miler and honestly thought it was the most awful thing I could think of! We started too late in the morning, and I got really dehydrated, but still made it in under 10min miles. Next came the 10 miler, and my first experience with GU, and I was thrilled! I could have gone longer! The next week, I ran my first race: the Bridal Veil 10k. Never done a race before, and I was crazy nervous, but I beat my personal goal and finished the race at a 9:08 minute pace, unheard of for me! I know it is too early to tell, but I think I may actually feel athletic for the first time!

This is what I want to look like when I run, strong, peppy, upright...

This is what I feel like when I run, like a superhero...

This is what I want, to be athletic, running on the beach at sunset,

Running strong in front of the pack,
I'd even settle for a dancer-run, just as long as it looked like I was happy and loving what I was doing.

I have seen a total of two pictures of my mom running. They were both of her running her first marathon in St. George. She looked perfect! In super short shorts, a runners tank top, and a sun visor with her nicely curled and fluffed bangs on top she really did the eighties well! Her legs were tanned and toned, her arms were thin but strong, her face looked determined but pleasant! She is my hero!

I really had no idea what I looked like when I ran. Until one of the Tuesday morning Suncrest hill runs. The sun was just coming up over the mountains. I could see my breathe in front of me, and I suddenly saw my shadow on the hill next to me... I looked horrible! Like I was going to keel over and die. After all of the articles I have read about form, and stories of champions who fight to win the Boston marathon, you would think it would somehow translate into greatness for me. Strength, purpose, determination...thats what I thought would reflect in my shadow. Instead, I looked like a very stiff, bent over, undefined, pathetic excuse of a runner. I was heartbroken! Then, I saw my shadow on the way down...not a whole lot better...but I felt fantastic!

I am fine with being an ugly runner. I don't have to see myself. Too bad for my team on Friday and Saturday! I may feel athletic, but when I look it, that will be a real first for me!

Easter

This is Sidney on Easter. I really love her! She is in such a sweet stage. She talks without talking back. She can walk, but still lets me rock her to sleep. She can play with toys on her own, but she is the most sharing child I've encountered. She has a balance my other kids never did, maybe that's to be expected for number four?!

Easter morning: the Easter Bunny always hides the baskets, but this year wasn't very tricky. Alex and Ashlyn said that this was the easiest year EVER for them to find the baskets, obviously making a jab at me. My pride may have been a little hurt when I told them the Easter Bunny only gives things to kids who believe in him! Ha!

Jane is obsessed with puzzles and had her new 50 something piece Princess puzzle put together in no time! Honestly, it is normal for her to have two or three puzzles put together on the kitchen table by the time I get the breakfast dishes done!

Decorating eggs to was the favorite Easter activity by far! With glitter and stencils, stripes and wax crayons, it was a hit! I boiled 3 dozen eggs, and they could have done more! After they decorated them, they took turns hiding and finding them outside; a much better idea than hiding them inside like I grew up doing, because if you happen to not find them all, at least they get rotten outside. Believe me when I say, the surprise of finding one in the living room curtains in November is quite unpleasant!

Overall, we had a great Easter holiday! We even talked to the kids about Jesus Christ and His resurrection. That, and their primary lessons hopefully made the holiday about more than colored eggs and pseudo Easter bunnies.

Draper Temple open house

We were all up early one morning in the beginning of March, and were discussing what to have for breakfast. Ben suddenly suggested we keep the kids out of school for a couple of hours, so we could all go to the Draper temple open house.
I showered and got the kids ready, did my makeup in the car on the way (as usual when Ben is driving), and we were in car in less than an hour! I absolutely love that we can be spontaneous, it makes things so fun sometimes!
It had snowed early that morning, so it was chilly, but clear and beautiful and clean looking all around as we drove. We arrived in the church down the hill from the temple and watched a movie about the temple and a little about the history of Draper, then took a quick bus ride up to the temple. Jane was thrilled! She has "always wanted to ride a bus, and it's white too!" I guess yellow is not her favorite color. In my journal, I wrote about a woman who told us how cute our family is and she didn't think I was old enough to have these kids, wow! What a complement! I just thought I'd mention that shallow part too!
Going through the rooms of the temple, I tried to whisper little things to the kids, but I wonder if they'll remember any of what I said. I hope they will at least remember feeling the spirit and the want to come back. In fact, while we were waiting for the bus on the return trip, I asked the kids about their favorite part. Ashlyn said, "the baptismal font" Alex said, "yeah, and just all of it, I want to go again!" and Jane said, "the sparkles!" The chandelier in one of rooms made her so happy, she forgot to whisper when she said, "Oh, Mom! Look!"
When I was a kid, I vividly remember going to the Jordan River Temple open house and thinking, "Wow, this is where my parents go on dates!" Now I get to be the one who goes on dates there, who got married there, and who gets to feel closer to my Heavenly Father there! I know there has been some controversy over the temples and I love what our church has put out concerning them on lds.org. I pray my kids do get to go back many times in the future and they will remember the experience they had at this one!

Alex's birthday party

Alex is such a funny kid, it may be that all 6 and 7 year old boys are like this, but I don't know for sure, so I just chalk it up as "funny". He got so excited about his birthday, as soon as Christmas was over, he started thinking about his birthday party (his birthday is January 15th). Notice I don't say "birthday", because it's not even a birthday unless it comes with a corresponding party, see last year. So from December 26th on, he was planning the upcoming party. He had all sorts of ideas and he told me of his plans constantly. I have admitted in the past that I am not always an exemplary mother and this is one more illustration of why: I finally had to lay down the law and tell him he was not allowed to talk about his birthday until January (that still gave him two weeks to make his plans) and he could write down his ideas until then!

Well, January came quicker than I thought it would, and he had plans for everything! His Gillen grandparents were in town a week before his birthday, and they let him shop with them to pick out his present! He was so excited! More Legos! He spends hours putting them together and then break them apart, so can challenge himself to put them together again without using any instructions.

His plans didn't end there: he has very specific ideas about what the party was going to be like and whom he was inviting, including many of his best girl friends ("they are girls and they are friends, girl-friends")...he even told kids at school about all the things we were going to do, (building forts, making swords, etc, etc) which, by the way, we didn't do, and all the presents he was getting...Funny.

Luckily things still worked out well: the kids made "sweet" paper airplanes and had prizes for various categories during the ultimate match off, Ben and Ashlyn made the cake mostly with candy, he got the coveted Lego Batman game he wanted along with another webkinz, and his friends gave him many great toys including lots of bakugans so he can "battle."
I love having "the boy" in our family. He has to put up with lots of barbies, dolls, strollers, ribbons and bows and he even has to sit through dance recitals! We've gotten to watch him play baseball, soccer, basketball, football, wrestling and know there are more to come! He plays the piano, he roller blades, and still shadow fights on the trampoline, he is wonderful! He is good at figuring out many things on his own yet he is always willing to let us teach him more! Happy (late) Birthday Alex!

Ist birthday PARTY

We had a party to celebrate Sidney's 1st birthday a little late when all the holiday craziness was over. My parents and some of my sisters were able to come over to watch her partake of her first cake! I won't lie and say its the first taste of cake she's ever had (#4 has had many more treats by one year old than #1), so she wasn't too nervous; she pretty much took control of the situation!

My sisters: Cara, Shally, Brittany, my mom, and I were all posing for different pictures.

I have to show off Sidney's belly! She is already thinning out so much, her arm "bands" are gone, and her leg rolls are quickly disapearing, I miss my chubby babies!!!

Something right

October 2009

I was lying in bed, wondering why I couldn't sleep. As my mind was wandering, I started realizing how grown up my kids are, and how suprisingly happy that makes me. When Ashlyn was about 3, Ben used to tease her about getting so big and say he'd have to give her "stop growing pills". I do love kids at young, little ages. But, wow! The older they get, the more I appreciate the people they are becoming.

Just last night I realized we must be doing something right, because as I was getting bugged about the cookies I was making for Ben's scouts (in a time crunch, of course). Ashlyn, noticing my frustration, started doing the dishes. Alex kept the younger girls busy and playing, and once when Jane was crying and I was freaking out about the mixer not being big enough for the recipe, Ashlyn just said, "Jane, come here, I can help you!" I was so shocked when I recognized that my little kids aren't all little anymore, they are actually quite helpful. Unfortunately, judging by the numbers of posts I do about Ashlyn, I am definitely taking her talents for granted.

So, Ashlyn, I made a list of just a few of the many talents I have noticed you possess:

1. Good sleeper. Honestly, this can get you far. Everyone is better off after a good sleep. I call you "Sleeping Beauty" because you can usually outsleep the rest of us. I was doubly impressed when you set your alarm to wake up earlier than usual on Alex's birthday, just to "see if there was anything I needed help with". Then finding out that I already had things taken care of (surprise), you just showered and hid the presents I wrapped to make it "more fun for Alex"!

Pantry sleeping 2007

2. You have the makings to be a baking goddess. So, your first and second tries at cookies weren't perfect, they did get incrementally better! You can make you own instant oatmeal in the morning like a champ, and your Macaroni and Cheese dinner under my (nervous) supervision was good (well, you ate it).

2007 Coeur D' Alene, Idaho 17 mile bike ride!

3. You make most of the fun for the kids in the house. You think up the plans for a fort, play library, make a tv from a box and then make up programs and commercials for us to watch. You do our family home evening lessons almost every week, and make assignments for each of us.

Breckenridge, Colorado 2008

4. You take genuine interest in others. You know and like all of Alex's and Jane's friends and them play with you and your friends. For your birthday last year, you loved spending time with grandma, and going to grandma's sister's house after dinner together. I think you will always love "Aunt" Sue. Plus, you went out to dinner and had a sleepover with Nana and Grandpa. You just ate up the adult conversation and the one on one attention!

Spring boating, March 2007

5. You are the perfect oldest child for me! You are a girl, but not too girly. Fun, but not crazy. Sweet, but not boring. Smart, but not intimidating. Oooh! I love you.

Breckenridge, Colorado 2008

1 year old

I can't believe it has been more than a year since my Sidney was born. Looking back, I can still feel her warm, soft skin, and smell her new baby smell. She had (and has) tiny and and feet, and the little rolls of her neck made me kiss her over and over, just breathing in her perfection!

Now my Sidney is 1 year old!

(now and then)

We tried to put her in the stocking they gave us at the hospital last year, when she was born. She couldn't quite fit, but we still got a kick out of it!

(now and then)

She's actually 1! There was a point I just didn't think she'd make it this far, we are so blessed she pulled through. Last year at this time was just awful ! Now, she is big and healthy and gets all sorts of attention for being roundish like my other kids always were, I honestly love it. The body type is where the similarities to my other babies seems to end though, she has been a very different baby for me:

1. She wouldn't take a binkie, unlike my other binkie-loving kids, ever since she was intubated, she just couldn't stand to have it in her mouth.

2. She doesn't get too excited about things, smiling and laughing just don't come that easily to her.

3. She has a residual wheeze and coughs quite a bit (more like me than the kids).

4. She doesn't crawl at all! She scoots and is not interested in standing, let alone walking!

5. She is really easy-going, mellow, and can play with her own toys, or watch others play and be perfectly content.

She is starting to talk, "all-done" "rock a bye" "here you go"... and she knows a few signs. She does have a cute sense of humor, when she knows she is teasing or being teased, and she loves to scoot and follow the kids around the house. What a year!